Family: Happy 7th Birthday My Beautiful Ella

Dear Ella,
7 years old today! Where did the time go? Did I really embark on this crazy ride of Motherhood 7 years ago?? It seems like yesterday. You have brought me so much joy and laughter. I have relived parts of my childhood with you. I have created Family traditions of our own that I hope you will do with your own children some day.



Ella, let me tell you a story I have never told you. When I was pregnant with you... and I mean VERY pregnant with you, I was at a party. And there was a psychic/medium there. She knew some things that blew my mind. But I never forgot what she said to me that day. She said that you and I would have a very stressful relationship for a few years of your life but then things would get better and everything would be fine. (Well geesh tell me something I don't know lady. I am having a girl, so of course there will times when we will be arguing over makeup, clothes, curfews and boys.) I was not impressed with her prediction. Until she told me it would be between the ages of 3-7. Surely I thought she was mistaken and I said don't you mean like 13-17 or 23-27? She said nope. 3-7. She then went on to say the following and I have NEVER forgotten it, "This Child will challenge you like no one has ever ever challenged you, EVER, in your entire life."

Well my beautiful girl, so far she has been right about it all. I truly have never had anyone grow me, challenge me and teach me the way you have. No one has ever caused me to search down deep into the depths of my soul to find courage, confidence and patience the way you have. No one will ever impact me (for better) more than you will. You are an EXCEPTIONAL Child in SO many ways. Ways I don't always appreciate because it is SO challenging at times. But I am learning to be grateful for it. I truly believe that God chose me to be your Mom for a reason. Cause God knew I needed to be taught some things about Love. True Unconditional Love. Fear. Anxiety, Panic. Worry. Sadness. Hopelessness and ultimately SURRENDER.

I think of how much time we spent lost in misunderstanding, and I no longer regret it, cause I KNOW it will only make our relationship that much stronger in the end. If you only knew how many tears I cried thinking I was doing it all wrong. Thinking I was screwing you up, failing you as a Mom in EVERY way possible. Maybe it is because you are my first and there is no instruction booklet as they say, that comes along with having children. I have learned so much in 7 years, but this week I learned this:

Almost every Mom out there (including me) thinks they are doing everything wrong and almost every kid out there is too in love with their Mom, just as she is, to even notice.

This week I asked you and your sister on the way to school what you wish Mommy would change about herself. Anything at all. I got answers like "give us more candy", "let us have ice cream every night for dinner." Ha ha. No surprise there. So I probed deeper without giving you any answers. I said what if you could change something about the way I talk, or act, or anything I do too much or anything I don't do enough. I literally left the door so far open you could have driven a truck through it. And I braced myself to hear your responses. "Don't yell so much" "Don't be so angry all the time" "Have more patience" "Play with us more" etc. etc. etc. What I got instead from one of you was "Mommy, I would not change anything about you" and the other said "Mommy you are perfect" In disbelief, and because I am a glutton for punishment, I said "Ok girls if someone asked you 'tell me about your Mom, what would you say'?" Your responses were "My Mom is AWESOME. My Mom is the BEST Mom in the whole World"



I know you are in such a rush to grow up my love. And you wish tomorrow you were becoming a teenager. You want to wear cool clothes, and makeup and have a boyfriend and a cell phone already. And all I want to do is keep you little and slow time down, all while you are trying to speed it up. If the last 7 went by as fast as they did then the next 7 are going to also and that scares me so bad. But you are still my baby and when you think no one is looking or when you are WAY less worried about being "cool" you melt into me like you did when you were little. You bury your head in my neck and lock your fingers into mine. You take a deep breath like you are trying to inhale me. I know that trick you see cause I invented it all those nights I would sneak in your room while you slept and breathe your very essence into my soul forever.

Happy 7th Birthday my BEAUTIFUL baby. I have only one wish... slow down baby and wait for Mommy to catch up :) I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much it makes me question everything, makes me always want to be BETTER for you, makes me always want the best life has to offer for you. Here are your Birthday ABCs as you turn 7 my love.

A- adrenaline junky
B- bratty
C- confident
D- dancer
E- EXCEPTIONAL
F- fun
G- gymnast
H- healthy
I- innocent
J- jokester
K- keen
L- larger than life
M- magical
N- narcissistic
O- optimistic
P- precocious
Q- quick
R- risk taker
S- swimmer
T- trail blazer
U- unafraid
V- visual
W- wonderful
X- xtra flexible (cheated)
Y- youthful
Z- zany



Mommy loves you. BFFs :)

Family: Out with the OLD in with the NEW

I just spent an hour on a conference call regarding an upcoming parenting class that I am WAY excited for. This sounds like everything I have been trying to implement and change about the way I am parenting. I hope I get chosen for this in depth class. I had to apply and they are only accepting a small number of applicants. Either way I got enough out of the one hour class today to make some changes already. I feel so hopeful that THIS time I will be successful. Doesn't this sound wonderful???



Wish me luck and stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Faith & Family: True love is UNCONDITIONAL

One thing I am grateful to have been reminded of in the past couple years is the true meaning of Love. We have gotten to a place in this Country where we think it is ok to treat people certain ways based on how they are acting, behaving, and/or treating us. Is that really how life is supposed to be lived? Someone is mean to you, so you are mean back? Someone hurts you, so you hurt them back? Someone lies about you so spread lies back? Is that how we want to live? Constantly letting other people drag us down to behavior we are not proud of, don't want, but suddenly feel justified doing? This is not the way it supposed to be. We are called to love no matter what. Love those that don't deserve it. Love those who are not loving us properly. Heck even the Golden Rule says it clearly "Treat others the way you want to be treated". Notice, that rule does not say "Treat others the way THEY ARE TREATING you." 

There are many examples in the Bible that reinforce the principal above. Love your enemy for instance. Love your spouse ALWAYS. It does not say love them only when they are behaving the way they should be, or only when they are loving you and treating you kindly. It says LOVE your spouse. Period. It says honor and respect your parents. It does NOT say, but only if your parents are acting loving and respectful towards you. In fact the Bible in many sections takes it a step further and specifically advises that we are to love and honor and respect IN SPITE of people. In spite of how they are acting or treating us. Imagine if we all started living this way day in and day out. The person that bites your head off in the store, or makes a snarky comment, or cuts you off in traffic. Imagine if we didn't feel the need to get so hostile in return and feel the need to justify or vindicate ourselves. And we just simply forgave and kept on loving. In SPITE of our anger. In SPITE of them. 

At the end of the day I look back over my day and ask myself who did I wrong today? Do I need to say sorry to anyone for my behavior today? Do I need to work on something inside of me? Did I allow myself to behave in ways I am not proud of and what can I do to fix it, make it right, say sorry, or prevent it from happening again? I am not perfect which is why daily reflection and prayer and mediation are necessary to stay on track.

Love is the answer. 

Faith: Don't Worry!

Just about an hour ago I was starting to worry about something. Getting all upset, over reacting, full of anxiety and worry over the future. Then I sat down to check my email and came across a new post from Loving My Lot. I loved her post "7 Reasons There's No Reason to Worry" that I decided to share the list of 7 Reasons here. Find her blog here and subscribe to her posts :) Here is a little quote from Loving My Lot to help you understand what she is about:

"I think these two things–my faith in Christ and my love for my family–are what have stirred my passion for biblical womanhood. With my whole heart, I want to embrace the role and calling God has for my life so that when I do finally see Him face to face, it will be with no regrets."

From Matthew 6:25-34

1. Because if God has given me big, substantial gifts (such as my life & body), I can trust Him to provide for smaller, less substantial needs. (v25)

2. Because God is so sovereign He cares about even the insignificant details of nature. (v26, 28-29)

3. Because I am of great value to God. (v26b, 30)

4. Because anxiety does zippo to fix my problems or extend my life. (v27)

5. Because God knows what I need. (v32)

6. Because God’s kingdom and righteousness are more important than anything I could ever need or want. (v33)

7. Because tomorrow will bring new troubles I didn’t even see coming, so I might as well live one day at a time. (v34)

Reference: http://lovingmylot.com/2013/10/25/7-reasons-theres-no-reason-to-worry/

Family Fun: Eric Carle Show at Batte Auditorium

The girls and I have always loved Eric Carle books. Obviously our favorite is The Very Hungry Caterpillar but there are others that we like just as much. The mixed up Chameleon and Little Cloud are more favorites. So I was thrilled and intrigued to find there was a live show that was going to bring his books to life. I didn't understand how, but I bought tickets and the girls and I were off for a date day :)

We had to drive to Wingate University to the Batte Auditorium. Which was beautiful by the way.




We had front row center seats!!



The show was incredible. It was a blacklight show where the colors were so vibrant and bright!



After the show they had a Q&A with the puppeteers and creators of the show.




Afterwards the girls and I went outside and I LOVE these photos I got of my girls in front of the beautiful fountain.



Fun with shadow shapes!



Next we made wishes and threw pennies in the fountain. One for each girl. And I made two! One for me and Jimmy.



Then it was cartwheels and handstands on the lawn before we headed off for some dinner.

Family: To the Moon Baby!

My girls have heard this since the minute they could breathe air. Never gets old :) Love you Ella Dalynn and Ryen Lorissa!!

Family: Fun silly faces with my baby

Family: Happy 5th Birthday Sweet Ryen

You hear a cry. You hold your breath. Your mind races. Is she healthy? Is she ok? What does she look like? How big is she? Does she have hair like her sister? Then you feel the crushing weight of them as they are laid on your chest. Not their body weight. The crushing weight of the love you feel for this little being from the moment she takes her first breaths. You take your baby home and then during a few sleepless nights, when you think the exhausting baby phase will last forever and you will never sleep again, you do it... you close your eyes. Maybe it is just a nap, maybe it is just a blink of your eye, but when you open them again, your baby is 5. And your baby is no baby anymore.

You are a grade schooler! A Kindergartner. How did this happen? I don't know where the time went, but what I do know is, I thought I couldn't love you more than I did the moment I first laid eyes on you, but I was wrong. Years of memories, of laughter, of hugs and kisses, of seeing your sweet personality develop, of discovering the nature of your soul hidden inside of you, of having your heart revealed to me, has made me love you more and more every day. And as my little mini me turns 5 I have prepared for you, like I do every year, your birthday ABCs. Here they are my sweet Ryen. I love you to the moon and back.

A- adorable
B- bad joke teller (haha)
C- charming
D- delicious
E- easy going
F- funny
G- generous
H- happy
I- immature
J- jealous
K- kind
L- likable
M- Momma's girl!!!
N- not listening lately (hello 5!!)
O- original
P- playful
Q- quirky
R- reserved
S- sensational
T- tiny
U- unique
V- vibrant
W- warm hearted
X- xtra careful (cheated on that one)
Y- young
Z- zazzy

PS: I am so grateful you are in no rush to grow up my love. I melt inside every time you say "Mommy I don't want to get bigger, I want to stay little forever" I want the same my love. I truly do...

Family: My Baby turned 5!! Happy Birthday Ryen!

It is here. My baby turned 5. I can't even believe it. How did this happen? Where did the time go!? Today was a day of showering her with surprises! You can read more about her birthday here. But here are some of my favorite shots of today!

Her painted spirit rock at school:



Lunch at school with the Birthday girl *being silly.



Present time!!



Frozen yogurt after dinner!

Family: Time to end the Mommy wars!

I really love this topic. Some Moms are very judgmental of others and it is hurtful and sad. There is more than one way to raise children, parent them, feed them, discipline them, teach them, mold them and shape them. Not one way is the best or correct. If it were, somebody would be teaching us all.

I LOVE this article below that I am re-sharing from Connecticut Working Moms.

Posted June 11, 2013
"It’s hard to believe that this month marks the one-year anniversary of our post-baby body photo-shoot – I mean where did the time go? In true CTWM’s fashion, we decided that we wanted to do something to commemorate this important anniversary so we chose to tackle a topic that makes our skin crawl – the mommy wars. Last year’s photo shoot was about embracing our bodies and this year’s shoot was about embracing our different parenting choices. Cause seriously people, the world needs more love and less judgment.



Personally I think the mommy wars were created by the media as a way to pit women against each other and gain ratings and I just don’t want to be a part of that. I am soooo over it. Who cares if some moms choose to homeschool vs. use public schools or if some moms breastfeed and others don’t or if some moms let their kids watch more TV than others? The only choices we have control over are our own. What another mom chooses is her decision – who are we to judge that? And when you really think about it – what’s the point? It feels so much better to treat people kindly with loving intentions than to go straight to a place of judgment. We should be supporting women’s decisions instead of critiquing them and making snap judgments based off our limited knowledge of other people’s situations."




What an AWESOME message! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! I am so glad to have found this. I also located a Facebook page for them. Go like them here!!



And honestly, in my opinion, sometimes it is not the judging that is the big enemy, it is the comparing. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH JUST AS YOU ARE. You be you. Let everyone else be them. God made us each unique and different with our own talents and strengths. That Mom that you think "has it all together", could just be wishing she was more like you in some ways. We are all in this crazy, hectic, roller coaster ride of Mothering together. We need to support, respect and accept each other for who we are. And for God's sake we need to be KIND to one another.